Summer Wrap Up

Howdy! I know it’s been two months since I’ve stopped by to chat so get ready for a serious brain dump.

(warning: this may be the longest post ever. After my ramblings — there are FIFTY pictures of our summer!! WOW)

First — there’s a few reasons why I’ve been so absent. One being that Alex was getting ready to deploy and we spent the summer trying to soak in every moment we could together. I don’t want to say that I was just too busy to write, because that’s not entirely true. Mainly, I think that since it had been so long I felt like whatever I came back to say needed to meaningful. I kept sitting down to write, jotted a paragraph or two and felt that it just didn’t do such a long break justice. Delete, delete, delete. The words just weren’t there. I have some half finished posts that I’m hoping to salvage and get them up.. we’ll see!

Alex left this past week and now that I don’t have as many distractions, I spend a lot of time alone with my thoughts. It’s time to get them out! Writing is therapeutic for me and more importantly, if Alex is able to catch some internet access here and there, I know he really appreciates getting caught up with what’s going on at home and seeing pictures of our boys (aka dogs, whatever — they’re children to us).

We had a great summer full of weekend trips, parties, weddings, grilling, kayaking, visitors, gardening, golf (him), canning (me) and truck projects (him). One thing that really stood apart from previous summers is that we didn’t overload it with house projects. Of course we still have things we want to do with the ol’ house, but we’re definitely slowing down. We’re getting to the point that we mostly have bigger projects left (new wood floors, remodeled kitchen, basement+hall bathroom remodels) and we 1. ran out of steam for such big (months long) projects and 2. didn’t really have the time since we knew some deployments were on the horizon. We actually spent money on ourselves this summer (yay! kayaks!) rather than dumping it into the house. It felt good.

A lot of people ask me about this when I see them and I know it’s uncomfortable for people to bring up, so I’ll just keep you all in the loop. Another thing that changed this summer is that we pretty much hit our breaking point and finally decided to stop trying for a baby right now. Well… considering that Alex isn’t even in the country that’s not hard to believe, right? 😉 Anyway… I didn’t like who I had become. It consumed me. I spent hours and hours every single day researching things; furiously googling supplements, symptoms per day past ovulation, the average amount of months it took for someone to get pregnant after an ectopic. It was bad. I compared myself to everyone around me and constantly felt like a failure. I tried some fertility medicine for a couple months and I was super unpleasant to be around – happy, crying, angry, moody… you never knew what you were going to get. I gained weight, my skin my broke up, I had headaches and was hot all the time. Yeah.. it wasn’t pretty. My breaking point came when a very good friend of mine told me she was pregnant (for various reasons they weren’t sure they could ever have a baby on their own). Of course I was happy for them both, but I was just sad for me. I locked myself into the bathroom at work and did the always attraction silent sob (you all know what I’m talking about). That night as I cried myself to sleep, I had a conversation with the man upstairs and basically told God that I had nothing left to give and that if I was supposed to keep trying right now, I needed some kind of sign. The next morning, Alex had a very open, honest (and brave!) conversation with me and told me that he thought it was a good time to take a break from trying.

So, I took that as my sign and just STOPPED. I stopped going to all my websites, I stopped obsessing and worrying and envying and crying and JUST STOPPED. Can you even imagine the pressure that has been lifted? Probably not. All of the sudden, I’m just not worried anymore. Sure, the want is still there – I’m not sure that will ever go away. But you know what… one day we’ll be parents. It might not be right now, it might not be in the next year… but we will. And now we can focus on us and it feels fantastic. Props to the husband for being willing to have a conversation that he knew would hurt, but would be for the better.

Whew! That felt good to get that out! Let’s see… what else has been going on? Well, the garden was phenomenal this summer. Even in September, it’s still trudging along. To this day, I’m still getting buckets of tomatoes, peppers (jalapeños and bell), carrots, a few cucumbers and even some yellow squash. We built the beds up a bit and added probably 25 bags of new soil. We also tilled the soil and mixed in lots of plant food.

I could go on all day chit chatting, but I think for now — I’ll finish up with some pictures from the last few months.

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Wow! Did you make it through those?? I hope to be posting way more regularly! If not, I’ll have a very disappointed husband when he gets back!

PS — WHO IS EXCITED FOR FOOTBALL TODAY??

Have a great Sunday!!

Getting into the December Mood

You guys are the best. Literally, the absolute best. I’ve had so many family members, friends, and complete strangers reach out to me and offer words of comfort and support. Some of the emails and messages that I’ve received over the last couple of weeks have brought tears to my eyes. And not sad tears either! I’ve been completely blown away! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Complete strangers reached out to me just to let me know that they were thinking of me and I wasn’t alone. I’ve said this before, but you guys really do hold a special place in my heart.

Today I don’t wanna chat about my feelings or any of that stuff. I just wanna share some pictures, because… well, why not?

I recently joined the Mac family and have been spending lots of time editing my pictures using new, fancy, and super fast software. I’m in love! What used to take me twenty minutes, now takes me less than two. It’s absolutely wonderful. I still need to learn the ins and outs of my new toy, so if you have any Mac tips for a previous Windows user — feel free to pass them along!

Anyway, let’s get to the photos.

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We’ve also been lucky enough to have one of our best friends, Joe, come down from New York to stay with us for a bit over the last month. Let’s just say that Alex has been in absolute heaven. They’re inseparable. It’s been fun to watch them. And kinda cute.

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Those two even worked on our Christmas lights together!

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And now the outside of our house looks like this!

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While the guys were outside hangin’ the lights, I rid the house of all our autumn decorations, cleaned, and started decorating for Christmas!

This is embarrassing, but guess how man strands of autumn garland we have…

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Answer: 26. That’s not too many, right? I might have a problem.

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Bye, bye autumn. See ya again next year.

This guy helped me out. As you can tell. He was so enthusiast!

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I’ve also been playing around with the manual focus on my camera.

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Here’s a better picture of our tree

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Alright… I think you’re pretty much caught up. Here’s a couple pictures of the puppies. Just in case you forgot that we have doggies. 🙂

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Have a wonderful Sunday!

P.S — is anyone still reading? If so, we’ve got some fun news to share. We recently received an exciting email from HGTV asking if we wanted our bathroom remodel to be on TV! Yay! I’m in the process of getting everything ready for submittal, but as soon as I know more information I’ll be sure to let you know!

 

Are you there Blog? It’s me, Michelle.

Okay, who’s left? 6 of you? I can definitely count on my mom… and Alex. So, that’s two FORSURE. Maybe a couple family friends? 🙂 Well for those of you who decide to stick out my random blog breaks, (first off) THANK YOU and (secondly) how was your Fourth of July? Did you see a spectacular fireworks show? Did you go on vacation? Hopefully, you at least had the day off work and got to relax!

I spent 5 days at my family’s house in West Virginia with my mom, brothers and a few family friends. Although our Fourth was spent without a dazzling fireworks show (as we had last year), we made up for it with great company, lots of food (duh), cold drinks and a boat load of fun.

One morning, we traveled over to a local river where we kayaked (me) and canoed (everyone else) down a 6.5 mile stretch. I absolutely loved it! It’s been so hot lately that we were afraid we wouldn’t enjoy it. But.. the water was so refreshing that you didn’t even notice it was 100 degrees out.

We zumba-ed in the morning and danced through the kitchen at night. We took the doggies swimming and (disgustingly) had to pull off dozens and dozens of ticks per pup. We did projects around the house and even got to squeeze in a couple of movies.

It was a perfect mid-summer mini vacation that could have only been better if Alex (the husband – if you’re new around here) was there with us.

Speaking of Alex – he’s been out of town for about three weeks now. Thankfully, he’ll be home soon though! Yay! It’s funny that while we share a life together, our lives are so very different. I go to work every day and while I think I have an interesting job that I’m beyond thankful for, I still go to work and sit at a desk each day. However, when Alex goes to work sometimes he doesn’t have much to do, but other times he’s all over the globe and busy as a bee. All a part of being in the military, I guess.

I try not to get jealous of other couples who get to come home at the end of the day to their spouse year round. It’s even harder not to feel that way when we have to be separated for birthdays, new jobs, traumatic incidents, Thanksgivings and all of the other holidays. But what does getting jealous do? Nadda. So, I try to skip over those emotions as quickly as possible.

One thing I’ve been feeling a lot of lately is PRIDE. How could I not? Yes, I get up early every day (YES – 5:15 is early), but I certainly don’t get up at 3 something early. That’s a-whole-nother kind of early, people. And while I try to exercise every day, I certainly don’t do it at the butt crack of dawn, in the million degree heat, in a uniform. I also do not put myself in any kind of immediate danger every day. The most falling that I do is if I lose my balance when I’m trying to put my pants on. (Don’t act like that doesn’t happen to you!)

See what I mean though? We share a life together. We get up together (when he’s home) and feel each other’s ups and downs. We even like the same foods and drink the same drinks. We share things that people probably shouldn’t share (Not our toothbrush though!) With all of the things that we share with one another that are the same, it’s miraculous the amount of things that are SO different. And I couldn’t be more proud of him! (Are you blushing yet, Alex?) He does things on a daily basis that if someone asked me to do – I would quite literally laugh in their face.

One of those deep belly laughs, too. Right.in.their.face. No shame.

Okay… Let’s get to some pictures now! These were all edited using Instagram (you can follow me at crazypupblog). I’ve been taking mainly phone pictures lately so, you know, I can send them to the mister right away. Okay – on to it!

(And yes, these are mainly puppy pictures. We’ve been doing so many home improvement posts lately that the boys have been completely left out!)