Almost exactly one year ago, Alex returned home from a three month long deployment. Prior to him leaving, he had gone on numerous trips that lasted a week or two. It’s not like I had never been alone before. When he left on his deployment I was devastated. I literally fell to my hands and knees and sobbed.
Slowly, I pulled my life together. I no longer was afraid to sleep alone at night and I wasn’t anxious to wake up on a Saturday morning with absolutely no plans. I completely jumped off the wall every time I got a phone call from Alex. The weeks started to pass and eventually they morphed into months. All of the sudden, it was almost time for Alex to come home!
Looking back on that magical day when he walked in the door, I am absolutely shocked that it has been an entire year ago. So much has happened this year. We bought a new car, started house hunting, bought a house, moved in, got married, went on a honeymoon, got another dog, and took a vacation to Utah.
Today I took the day off work.
Not because I had a ridiculously fun day of activities planned for us or had a doctor appointment.
I took the day off work to spend the morning and early afternoon with Alex. The reason for this is because — one year after Alex returned from his last deployment, he left for his next.
For security reasons I hadn’t decided whether or not I would disclose that Alex had left. But for me: this is my blog, my space, my life. This is going to be something that I struggle with for the next three months. I’m going to want to talk about it and I’m going to want to write about it.
So far I’ve been dealing with being alone much better than last year. I didn’t drop to the ground when I walked in the empty house. I haven’t been sobbing. And I don’t feel completely heartbroken. I am certainly sad. I have cried multiple times throughout the day. I have no idea what I’m going to do Friday afternoon after work. I don’t remember what it’s like to wake up alone. But I have a feeling that I’ll find out here shortly.
Please keep Alex in your thoughts. I pray that everyone wishes him a safe flight and a safe deployment. Our family could use all the positive energy we can get.