Disclaimer: Don’t forget your grain of salt while reading this.
10. If not you, then who? Seriously though, you’re not 5 years old anymore. Your dad isn’t going to get on the bus with you in the morning and ask the bus driver to stop calling you Rudolph when your nose is red from the cold cause it hurts your feelings (true story). (Did you like that run on, by the way?) If you want anything to change, you are going to need to dig down deep and harbor your inner testosterone. Also known as — ball up.
9. Instead of thinking about the problem for 22 hours of the day (because really, who thinks about their problems while they are spraying their dog with the hose for two hours??), do something to fix it. Why would you possibly want to keep festering about some mean girl who said something nasty at the gym yesterday? In order to get out of your mind, the first step is to get it off your chest. (And no, I don’t spray Hunter in the face for two hours. Just one. And he likes it. Actually, he explicitly asks for it. He says, “Momma, let’s go outside. Grab the hose. And your camera.” So there. Off. My. Chest!)
8. Have you ever wondered what if would feel like to punch someone? No?? Good, me either! BUT – just let’s think about punching someone for a second. Now imagine it with words. Way better. Case solved by me in 2 minutes. (Name that book!) — (Mom — you better get this one!)
7. Let’s time travel back to your Adidas puffy coat wearin’ and acne days. Remember when you were in seventh grade and you used to three-way call your friends? Think harder now. Remember when one of you was mad? You totally used to mute one person and call the evil friend and make her spill the beans. We were mean girls before there was a Mean Girls. Point? That was cool, but picture how much better it would feel if you told the person to their face that you were frustrated with them? And, iPhones are tricky and I would most certainly screw up trying to three-way call these days.
6. So, someone said something mean to you in the gym yesterday? Wow, me too! I bet it’s not the first time they’ve done it. More than likely, you are not the only person annoyed/frustrated/blown away/irritated with your current mean girl. How awesome would you be if you were able to stop the bullying for every one? That would deserve ten high fives to you and unlimited Pandora hours. Possibly a case of beer, if you’re lucky.
5. Its good practice! One of these days (very, very distant) you will have to stand up for your kids. Better start practicing now! Will you be able to stop the Blizzard ride at the fair when your 7 year old is screaming her little head off? And I’m not talking about an “Oh, this is so fun” scream. I’m talking about a, “Holy Crap, I’m about to die!” scream. Would you judge me if this were true as well? No? Good! Anyways, you can do it. I believe in you.
4. Mean girls either need someone to stand up to them or… be mean right back. You can take the high road or you can take the low road. Your choice, my friend. Just keep in mind that the low road consists of prickly, sharp objects and is a hard place to come back from. Let’s jump on our horses together and act like the classy ladies that we are (most of the time). Sound good? Good!
3. However, every now and then, a girl has got to release the (for lack of a better word) b*tch within. Don’t go home and yell at your husband. 1. He doesn’t want to hear it. 2. Why get mad at him when in reality — it’s the mean girl that put you in a funk? What does 1 plus 2 equal, Rangers? That’s right. Standing up for yourself. Boom.
2. What would you do if something came over to your house and started pushing your dog around? Yeah, I bet you would tell them to leave. And that’s your dog. You’re not a dog, remember? Point proven.
1. Imagine the feeling that you’ll get as you tell her what’s on your mind. Oh, and the look on her face. Ahhhh. Now all you’ll need is a Rolling Rock and a bowl of fresh guacamole and you’ll be in paradise.
Guess who is going to start standing up for herself?
P.S – don’t forget to check out today’s Daily Dog picture. No hose is involved today. Promise!