All of the sudden while driving home from work I got seriously sad. Once the first few weeks after Alex left passed, I feel as though I’ve been handling the whole alone thing pretty good. I’ve been keeping myself busy while simultaneously looking to the future at all of the exciting things we have coming up.
Sometimes it hits me though.
While driving I realize that while I’m thrilled to be off work, I’ll be going home to an empty house. Some nights it’s nice to have the quite, the uninterrupted time for myself can be relaxing. Hunter’s always there to greet me with a big wagging tail. He’s never too embarrassed to give him Momma kisses and he’s never too busy to cuddle.
It’s hard not to miss the constant conversation, having someone lay next to you every night, and always feel loved. When something happens at work it’s hard to remember that if I text him, he won’t get it, he won’t respond. If there’s down time it’s hard not to let my mind wander and think of all the fun things we’ve done in the past. Even though I know there will be an infinite amount of these times in the future, I cannot help but feel an overwhelming sadness.
The problem I’m sure is that we haven’t talked all week. At least we’ve been able to laugh with each other even though we weren’t together. Tonight is the first night I’ve been alone and free all week, so I’ve had a lot of time to sit and think. Ultimately I realize how much I really miss him, how much it sucks being alone, and how I can’t wait to see him again.
What’s that saying though?
Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Yeah, something like that.
I think this was the song that set me over the edge tonight..
This weekend I’ll be going up to West Virginia. Hopefully that’ll put my mind at ease for awhile. We’ll have a weekend full of good food, great drinks, and even better company.
Happy almost Friday!